compression

it is slightly pass 4.30am right now and I'm awake to study + complete my school work. so so sleepy but can't help it man.
as college started, my life has been compressed like gas molecules in a gas syringe with a finger at the tip. I have no idea what I'm doing with myself. What exactly is this shit?

I know there are others who are undergoing even higher level of stress/tiredness/misery and that I shouldn't be complaining but this is how I really feel. It is not that I have no resilience towards tough work or what, it is just that I can't find a purpose/meaning in doing all this. It is like I'm here doing all these just because everyone else is and not because I am willing/glad to do so. What am I doing with my life?

I hope as time passes, I can figure out my reasons for hanging on.