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alright, yesterday was karwai's birthday party at downtown east's chalet!
wooohooo, was fun! the guys played monopoly while some of the people watched tv and chit chat~ oh, and xieyu read DALMATIONS as DARYL'S MILK! hahahahahhaha
hmm, as for some of the hardworking ones (like me) went to help bbq the food! i was helping to fan~
haha
while i fan, i had a great heart-to-heart talk to daryl's mom (:
she's a wonderful and understanding parent.
apparently he was just playing so happily.. so yeah, i was like an extra, so i went away.. (i was at a break out point)
i needed a hug so badly that time... ):
he was so happy with them.. and her.
hmmm, the party ended off at 8 plus?
then went home~~
before that, i had a great walk and talk with him. (:
hais, tmr have dance and student ambassador training~~

i don't know why but I've been thinking alot for the past few days.
thinking bout the past, the present, and our future.
the past is sad.
the present is satisfying and filled with love.
the future... i don't know. just hoping it will be pleasant.
i cried... probably you didn't realise, but i did, last night.
you must be wondering why bah... hais, it's difficult to explain.. it's just like, i recalled about the incident that happened during June, and think that maybe you really love me more than i love you. you probably suffered emotionally more than me, and shed more tears.... yet i thought you didn't care at all... i thought you wanted it this way.. and i cried alot that time too..
i was god-damn sad can! i didn't want to lose you, didn't want to lose the happiness and memories between us. haha, but i wasn't angry with you and i don't know why~
my heart was tearing into pieces.. and nobody was there to help me mend it..
well, then somehow, we cleared the misunderstanding, and i finally know that what i thought was wrong.. you were actually as sad.. just that both us didn't know how to express how we really feel, afraid that each step may lead to awkwardness and regret... we were so stupid aren't we?
you told me that you actually teared alot while listening and singing broken-hearted songs as you thought of us last time..
and you actually sang some of them to me... i cried while listening to them...
see, I'm tearing again T.T
I'm super duper grateful to have you by my side.. having someone like you to love my is fantabulous.. you have no idea how lucky i feel and i really dun ever want you out of my life!
yeah, although we say and are sure that we would be still the same in the future.. but who knows what will happen? what if we can't make it through? i guess, i'll have few buckets full of tears each day, everyday. at least for i dunno how long..
btw, i'm still thinking how to tell her... i feel so stressed up )':
I love You.